her vagine was all disorganized.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
