it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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