I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
