adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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