i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
