There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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