I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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