if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
it was like eating out sand paper
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
