using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
