dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
