apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
