Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I am never drinking with the goths again.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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