You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
