I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
