u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
