dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
