Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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