remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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