at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
