I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
There are leaves in my underwear?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
