i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Shitshow foam night was such a success
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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