Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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