If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
