At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
