no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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