Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
We are two peas in an std pod
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Terrible idea I love it
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
