Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
