well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
