You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
