I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
