There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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