so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I fill condoms, not promises.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
