I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
