Rock
Scissors
Fuck
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
My vagina just recognized that song.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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