Kiss
Puke
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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