I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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