I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
