mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Randomize
