Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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