it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
