what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
