Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
