Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize