Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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