he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
