She announced her abortion via fbk
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
She needs sedatives and a leash
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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