I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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