The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
