I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
