i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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