I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
