Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
