Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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