could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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