Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
